This is the last drop, I just have to talk about it. Since I was 13 I have had to decline offers and sometimes ultimatums by men who would want me to sleep with them in turn of helping me forward my singing career. I have worked with many artists, producers, but everything I achieved is because of hard work, however I had to make decisions which closed certain opportunities in my career.
Today I was supposed to perform at Glastonbury Festival, the biggest festival in UK running for 40 years and just being a massive explosion of positive vibes. I rehearsed, mixed the instrumental specifically for this occasion, postponed a lecture at school I was supposed to give, bought special outfit and asked my mother to stay a few days more to babysit my daughter.
But the day before yesterday the male artist/producer we were going with gave me the ultimatum that I must stay with him an room at the festival, and I refused, saying that I can't stay with a man in a room like that. Of course, with such ultimatums I didn't go. I feel sorry that because of such low intentions the whole thing was completely poilt once again. Even though I have done engineering and played keybords on his tracks too for almost a year.
One thing I know that every step I made in my career has always been earned my hard work and skills and I have never sold my body to get further in the business. I didn't take on opportunities that were offered by those men who wanted me to pay with my body, I learned to produce myself and learned to be in a different position. A few years ago I realised that if only stick to singing and dancing, I would have been dependent on producers, and all of those I met were men - many of whom did want me to pay the price. So I figured if learn to complete a track by myself, it would save me time wasted on those men who give hope and then ultimatums, and money. I learned the skills of engineering and became geeky about it, but it's blessing that I have the right mindset for it and it doesn't bore me at all - in fact, the opposite reading some articles about new gear calms me down.
Hearing about some of today's successful artists, who for their career sleep with producers jumping from one to another, break up marriages even when kids are involved and take everything for themselves with no sense of morality, building their image by speculating on sacred things, then get Grammys and worldwide promotion, I think to myself that somehow they get away with it too easy, but what is happening within their soul?
UPDATE 29th July 2010
I was very surprised to find out that some folks started assuming that there were subliminal messages in this post. There are NO subliminal messages there.
The conclusion in my post was a general statement that can apply to various artists around the world from UK, US, Russia, China, Germany etc and at any point the history of music business. It was not targeted at any particular artist especially someone who writes and produces songs for themselves and other people, where is the logic in that? It was definitely not about Alicia Keys. Any Russian person who read it could have possibly linked it to a famous Russian artist in their mind who folks in the US or other parts of the world have never heard of. I guess, people see what their eyes want to see. No need to start a beef here and spread hate by taking words out of context.
If I said that I don't fuck for tracks it means I don't and have never done so. The story about Glastonbury is one of the incidents that happened in my life and was very upsetting. Also it doesn't mean that every relationship within the industry have to do with ulterior motives, people simply fall in love sometimes.